John is a senior from San Jose, CA who has no free time but pretends he does by procrastinating. He procrastinated on this bio. When John was in 8th grade his doctor told him he was going to be 6’2” and he was really happy but then he literally hasn’t grown an inch since that day. Luckily he got over his tragic backstory by developing skills such as “objectively unfunny sarcastic humor” and “leaving people on delivered for literal weeks”. Some other character flaws that define him are that he sucks at parallel parking and spends half of his food points on coffee. Even though he doesn’t have any mock trial experience, he loves his team very much (and also thinks that he probably will have had lots of mock trial experience by the time Kieran finally gets around to posting these).
